Getting Real

A couple of weeks ago I was reading a favorite blog, and the writer stated that she was worried about another blogging friend. The lady had just had a baby (by c-section) and it seemed like she felt like she needed to jump back in and start doing all the tings she was doing before (baking homemade bread, fermenting veggies,etc...). The blogger writing was concerned that sometimes we only share the "good", so people think we are always in control. I do have a tendency to only tell certain things, but it is more to protect my family or myself. Having said that, I will share a few things today.
There are so many areas of my life that have changed in the last year. I loathe change.I'm still struggling to make adjustments.One of the hardest things for me right now is church. I know we are where God wants us. I miss our old church family. I am trying to learn to know people, but it just takes time. Sometimes, I feel very lonely and out of place. The folks there are as nice as can be, I think it's just me.
Also, our oldest is going to be 18 in January. There's a lot we need to do for him. Where did the time go. I guess when they get this age, you see every mistake you've made as a parent. I have made many. God help us.
As you know, we were hoping to be moved by 'da Dad's birthday/our anniversary. Those days are now passed. I am surprised that doesn't bother me more than it does. I really do not want to be living here come winter. We are paying more in just utilities, living here. This does not include the extra gasoline for him driving 2x the distance to work. We also spend more because there are so many "conveniences" in town. At home we did not make special trips for some trifle, now it's too easy to go to WM. :P (Wanting to go home.......)
In all of this I know God is control. Change happens to everyone. Not all change is bad. A great deal of it uncomfortable.
This is where I am at. Learning to be content in whatever state I am in,trusting Jesus and His love for me. He is enough. When I am lonely, He will never leave me, nor forsake me. When I am afraid,He is my Prince of Peace. When I am discouraged and sad, He is my joy and song. When I am tired, He is my strength. Oh, how I love Jesus! He is my best friend.
My friend, what have you done with Jesus?


John 19-20 More About Jesus